Am I an artist?
Am I an artist?
A rhetorical question. Looming. A one time question. A daily. Critique to the creator.
This question will not leave the whispers of your mind no matter how old you grow in your practice. But it can become a tool.
Accepting this vocation, yes you have to recognize it as your vocation - that is a higher calling to a job or hobby. Whatever your motivator, to be truly whole in your practice you must be honest with yourself.
What do you believe about yourself? Be honest about your smarts? Are you a visual and audible learner, do you learn kinesthetically, are you people smart? Accepting what you do well and where you want to grow - not what you’re “bad at”, is the cornerstone to moving forward in this vocational journey.
Am I an artist?
This question haunted me like a bad chili dog at the fair. I didn’t believe in myself creatively, at least in a way that I would ever share my art publicly. I am fortunate to have a circle of supporters who continue to pour into me, provide creative avenues, and who continue to ‘bug’ me to pursue art professionally after a LONG journey through school - even when I repeatedly defied my creative calling. It still comes around, but self doubt can be useful. I do try to turn it into a motivator to push through roadblocks and challenges. And it makes for really great moody paintings.
I recognize that not everyone has a supportive circle. In fact, most days I believe that is the majority’s experience. Why would people who have not yet understood the impact or importance of artmaking encourage it, it doesn’t make them money? The last few weeks I have been asking myself this question along with, “Is my work valuable?” “Will my practice provide for me?” “Do I make a difference?”
Your work and vocational calling does not exist without the answer to this question. But your answer is not definitive, it can and will evolve over time. So whatever your answer is right now, use it wisely.
Let’s continue to keep each other accountable in the pursuit of great art. Because while the creative process can be isolating, the creative community must gather and thrive. When we take care of our artists, ourselves, our communities and cities thrive! So what is your answer right now?
